So I "Lost" a Local...

A year ago all I knew about Miss America was the name. I had no idea what all went on behind the seasons. Then one random day in February, I decided to sign up for Miss SDSU/Miss Brookings pageant, not even knowing at the time that it was affiliated with Miss America or even Miss South Dakota. By some stroke of God, I won and went on to compete at Miss South Dakota.

Two weekends ago, I competed for Miss State Fair. Only my second local. I was so nervous. I had won my first title by pure beginners luck and I was afraid to lose a local. But I did. I "lost." I won the interview and a very honorable award (the Kind Heart Award), but I was not given a title, nor was I even a runner up. It hit me like a hurricane. I had no idea what I had done wrong. Then I looked at the video that my boyfriend had recorded to send to my family because they weren't able to make it. Simply by losing, I was able to see myself for what the judges saw. I was able to truly look at my flaws and see how much progress I have made from the beginning, but also how far I still have to go. And who knows, I may lose again, and again, and again. And each time will be a learning experience for me, keeping me grounded. Who would have thought that it would take "losing" for me to see my true self and for once, I am grateful to not have walked away a "winner." I am excited for whatever may lie ahead and for more learning and growing experiences.